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Barnabas: You know, there was a time long ago when I believed money makes the man. When I believed it was the answer to all that ailed us. But it is not the size of the house that makes the man great Master David. It is the people he shares it with. Money will come and go. Family is the only real wealth. David: So we don't need money to make our family great again? Barnabas: No, Don't be daft. We shall need an exorbitant amount of money.
Barnabas Collins (voiceover): "It is said that blood is thicker than water. It is what defines us, binds us... curses us."
Barnabas Collins (to The Carpenters on TV): "What sorcery is this? Reveal yourself, tiny songstress!"
Dr. Julia Hoffman: "Every year I get half as pretty and twice as drunk."